I'm at this new, interesting stage in my life lately where everything I used to find passionate determination in has kind of wavered. While I'm excited to always continue to improve my fitness level, I'm pretty happy with the way I look and feel. I feel almost complete apathy when I think about finding a long term relationship and am enjoying the light, casual dating. I feel like my biggest compulsions (to dwell on the negative, social anxiety, fear of loss, etc.) is pretty much completely under control. Even just keeping my physical environment in control, neat and tidy, is no longer a challenge. Everything that used to rule the direction of my thoughts, my life, are either now on autopilot or irrelevant.
So, what now?
Well, that's what I've been thinking about lately and I'm getting excited to realize that it's almost as though I've laid this sound, orderly foundation that allows me to move on to bigger and better things. I've liberated my mind above silly, shallow things like feeling the need for a perfect body or yet another boyfriend.
Here's what I'm left with. My new, more meaningful, goals.
1. My son's evolution. This, of course, has always mattered to me. However, having just passed his 8th birthday, I am aware that he is halfway to driving age! He is only 8 years away from the day he will pull out of the driveway and make decisions I will have no control over. This is crunch time people! I can't control who he is or even who he will become but I can control what filter he sends all of his life decisions through. I need to make sure I am fully tuned in to his emotional and spiritual growth in this way. I will do this by:
- Making sure I am fully present when we spend our quality time together each day. Not just physically present, but emotionally present.
- Expose him to more new things. This one presents a challenge because he tends to fight me on this lately. He would rather be at home building Legos. However, it is my job to make his world bigger and to recognize that the discomfort he feels at the prospect of experiencing something new is normal. The discomfort I feel at the prospect of having to deal with his upset is also normal. We both must experience that discomfort anyway!
2. My career. Lately my business has been on autopilot. And it has needed to be! While my mother was sick, I needed to be able to just float along and just exist while we all went through that. However, recently she and I both feel re-inspired! I feel a passion growing inside of me to breath new life into the studio and offer new services. And we are already starting to add new classes and workshops. Things are happening! Here is how I intend to continue this new momentum:
- Remaining steadfast in my vision and never doing anything to make a buck. The days of me taking on clients who want to lose 5 pounds to be bathing suit ready are over. They have been for a while now. But, more than that, I want every action I take, every client I take on, to reflect my beliefs and values. If I feel someone is truly incapable of embracing my approach to holistic fitness, I need to direct them elsewhere because it is imperative to my success that I am always working from an authentic place.
- Develop a concrete business plan and outline steps to accomplish this.
3. My health as I age. As I approach my 4th decade in this body, I am becoming more and more aware of the importance of preserving this one and only vessel I have to hopefully get me through many more decades. The days of excess are behind me. I find myself more and more focused on not overtaxing my body so that it can always be in a state of cleansing and healing. Here are the elements I've began incorporating into my life to accomplish this:
- Sleep! More and more I understand just how vital this is. Our bodies detoxify when we sleep as well as clear out the stress hormones from the day before. Both play a huge role in the anti-aging process.
- Being good to my liver. This involves restraint when it comes to alcohol and sugar. Furthermore, consuming things like warm lemon water upon waking, dandelion root tea or extract, milk thistle and raw apple cider vinegar tonics are easy ways to help the liver do it's job. The liver helps keep the body free of toxins.
- Controlling stress. Stress can literally kill us! There is some stress we can't do a thing about. However, eliminating unnecessary stress, getting a good night's sleep and a daily practice of meditation are great ways to control stress so it doesn't control me.
- Water! Nuf said.
4. My spiritual self. This is an ongoing theme in my life but becomes more important to me as I go on. I find myself turning a little more inward and upward as I go through this life. I feel a sense of calm and acceptance the more I nurture this part of myself. The ways I have accomplished and/or will continue to accomplish this are:
- Meditation. My daily meditation practice has become a sacred time at the beginning of each day that puts me in a place of mindfulness and deliberate intention for the day ahead of me.
- Church. Christian churches are ample so if that is your path, you will have little problem finding many options. For others, finding a spiritual place of fellowship can present a real challenge. A few years ago I discovered the UU church. This is the perfect solution for someone like me. I've gotten away from this one because of the travel time and an undercurrent of politics that can sometimes be a little unsettling. However, this church never fails to nourish my soul when I go. It inspires me and gives me a sense of community and purpose each time I'm there. It also offers volunteer opportunities which leads right into my next goal..
- Being of service to others. I have learned to really embrace this one. It is amazing to me how fulfilling this is. To give of oneself to others so freely with no expectation of any compensation in return has turned out to be some of my biggest growth experiences where I find purpose and peace.
So I'm nowhere near done. As I look over my list of goals that are now important and relevant in my life, I am so moved to realize how far I've come. It makes me realize how much growth I've already experienced in my life but also inspires me to know I'm nowhere near done! On to bigger and better things!