We all have that hole that needs to be filled. Some people fill it with food, some with drugs, some with video games, others with sex. The slightly more sensible ones fill it with work, their children or religion. I filled mine with the easiest, best feeling things, whatever that happened to be at the moment. Once I stopped focusing on those various things and turned my focus inward, my life changed forever.
I've spent hours upon hours of writing blog posts that can best outline and explain the changes I made that led to my better, happier, healthier, more complete and amazing existence but I feel they all fall short. If I could sum up the catalyst for all these changes and the vehicle that helped drive them in one sentence I guess it would be "I remembered myself." Each and every time I felt weak and powerless, I began to recognize that there was one common thread, I was focusing on something external. This empty, exhausting feeling would vanish almost instantly as soon as I consciously turned the focus back onto myself.
I no longer go through the motions while living a numb, half existence. My heart is in this! I am living with purpose and meaning. Passion for life is a sustainable passion that can not be taken away by an external source.
Now, a couple years since I left my old life so directionless and out of control, I know who I am, what I love and what fills my empty spot. When I nourish my body with food and exercise, my mind with constant growth and my soul with self-love and freely giving of my self and my love to others, I feel so completely full. It is a fullness that all that food and all those poor choices in life never afforded me. It is a fullness in the depth of my soul and my cup runneth over.