I see it all the time. The regret. The punishment. The self-hatred that results from someone's perception of failing. Especially women. Well, I'm here to say it all stops now! Change your thoughts, change your life!
Being overweight is not your problem! Being
overweight is a side-effect of your true problem. Treating your body
poorly. Why do you treat your body poorly. Because you don't love
Now I'm sure there are some that are nodding
their heads in agreement as they read this. You know it's true. There
are others, however, who are feeling defensive, already deciding to post
an argument when they're done reading this. Okay, there are one of two
options here and I will present them to you.
You are in the very, very rare small percentage of the population that has a medical condition that prevents you, no matter how well you nourish
yourself, from losing weight. If this is the case, I hope you're already
seeing a doctor about this and I wish you all the luck in the world.
Option 2: You're in denial.
Those are literally your only two options. How do I know? Well, first, because it's basic science. Put healthy foods into your body in appropriate amounts, combine with moderate exercise on a somewhat regular basis and you will not be obese.
If you're not doing this, how do I know this means you don't love yourself?
Well, because we
take care of the people we love. We don't abuse our children. We don't
tell them they are failures and constantly deprive them and insult them
when they don't meet a goal perfectly. (If you DO treat your children
like this, please see a specialist immediately.) We, instead, nourish their bodies and their minds and ensure they always have no less than what they deserve in order to be healthy, body and mind.
So let me rephrase all that for you and see if you love yourself. Can you say the following?
"I take care of myself because I love myself. I don't abuse myself. I don't tell myself that I am a failure and constantly deprive and insult myself when I don't meet a goal perfectly. I nourish my body and mind and ensure that I always have no less than what I deserve in order to be healthy, body and mind.
Okay, so let me stop here and say, I am not perfect at this. Not by a long shot. I am a work in progress. The fact that I didn't love myself is why I was "sick" with obesity for so long. Now I am aware of it and becoming aware didn't just make me suddenly love myself. Instead I constantly have to practice positive affirmations and be constantly aware of my internal dialogue. And I also find that the more time and energy I invest in my health, the more love I automatically have for myself because the mere act of doing it makes me deem myself worthy and lovable.
What we give our love and attention to grows and thrives. What we send hate to, shrivels and dies. Our bodies are no different.
So stop punishing yourself because you fell off the wagon. Stop saying "I screwed up today so I'll do perfect tomorrow." Instead, say, "I am deciding as of this moment to do everything I can to nourish my body because I am worth it. Then find reasons to believe it."
While the self-talk and positive affirmations can help, also make a list of the people who need you and value you and focus on them to help you get started. I think being Phoenix's mom helped get me started. Because I love him so much that I have no choice but to take good care of his mommy. I don't want him to take care of me when I'm old. I don't want him to see me suffer. I want to set a good example for him so HE can be healthy too.
Be gentle with yourself. Be kind. Find love for yourself.