I just wanted to share this story. This morning I was at the gym getting dressed. I dropped my towel because I thought I was alone only to turn around and see about a dozen women filing in from their water aerobics class. I quickly pulled up my jeans and tried to cover as best as i could as a very overweight woman sat down right beside me and smiled. I sheepishly smiled back and said "sorry" (I was absolutely mortified that I was making eye contact with a stranger who had just seen me naked, especially today because I was not feeling very good about myself at all!). She smiled big and said "Oh you're fine honey, although it's gals like you that make it so hard for gals like me to come to the gym".
Even in my low self-esteem mode, I knew she meant it as a compliment. I then did something that I don't usually do. I told a random stranger about my weight loss and told her just how bad i needed to hear that today and started pointing out things on my body that I didn't like. She said "Honey, if someone told me that if I worked out really hard every day for the rest of my life that I would someday look like you, I would be thrilled".
I honestly had to choke back the tears and fight the urge to hug this woman, her in her bathing suit, me, basically in my underwear. She will never know how much she changed my perception of myself today. She said that I inspired her as well. It wasn't just that she made me feel better about my body, although she did, but more than that she made me remember that, at one time, I would've given all my worldly possessions to be where I am today. And I wouldn't have said "nevermind" if I found out the new me wouldn't be perfect.
Ladies, i have been that really big girl who felt invisible at best, and disgusting and unworthy of love at worst. I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that the time and effort I have put into loving and nurturing myself, is far FAR more comforting and satisfying than the most delicious ANYTHING or a veg night on the couch. It IS possible! I'm not saying you're life will be perfect once you lose the weight. You will probably still have days like I did this morning, where you wake up so critical of yourself. But, in the long run, when you're someday face-to-face with the person you used to be, you will realize that you have, quite literally, become your own fantasy (give or take a saggy boob or two).
But if you are still struggling with exercise try to stop looking at it as a chore. Don't push yourself too hard (yet anyway!). Go take a stroll around the block, breath in the fresh air and (hopefully) sunshine. Go take a Zumba class. Yoga. Something that maybe you did and walked away with a positive memory in the past.
The honest truth is, pushing yourself in your workout today, will not help you attain your goal....whaaaat?! That's because one exercise session will not make you fit. However, one exercise session could very well determine whether you begin to associate physical activity with pain and misery which will determine how likely you are (or are not) to do it again.
So instead of the "oh my gawd, I have to go do bootcamp cause I've missed it all week! I hate bootcamp!", maybe you could call a friend or grab your iPod with your favorite tunes and go for a nice, easy walk. Or just turn on some music and booty dance in front of the mirror (um...no, I've never done that....why do you ask?)
Remember, this is about the journey, not the destination. Because, really, what is the destination? The day you slide into your size 6s? The day you peak and are the most attractive you will be in this life before your looks slowly fade? Big whoop! No. The destination does not exist actually because our lives and our bodies are fluid, constantly changing so must our goals. The journey, however, will be comprised of happy, healthy days where you know you are doing everything you can to ensure each and every OH SO PRECIOUS day on this earth is as good as you deserve it to be!!!