The New Me

I just wanted to share this story. This morning I was at the gym getting dressed. I dropped my towel because I thought I was alone only to turn around and see about a dozen women filing in from their water aerobics class. I quickly pulled up my jeans and tried to cover as best as i could as a very overweight woman sat down right beside me and smiled. I sheepishly smiled back and said "sorry" (I was absolutely mortified that I was making eye contact with a stranger who had just seen me naked, especially today because I was not feeling very good about myself at all!). She smiled big and said "Oh you're fine honey, although it's gals like you that make it so hard for gals like me to come to the gym".

Even in my low self-esteem mode, I knew she meant it as a compliment. I then did something that I don't usually do. I told a random stranger about my weight loss and told her just how bad i needed to hear that today and started pointing out things on my body that I didn't like. She said "Honey, if someone told me that if I worked out really hard every day for the rest of my life that I would someday look like you, I would be thrilled".

I honestly had to choke back the tears and fight the urge to hug this woman, her in her bathing suit, me, basically in my underwear. She will never know how much she changed my perception of myself today. She said that I inspired her as well. It wasn't just that she made me feel better about my body, although she did, but more than that she made me remember that, at one time, I would've given all my worldly possessions to be where I am today. And I wouldn't have said "nevermind" if I found out the new me wouldn't be perfect.

Ladies, i have been that really big girl who felt invisible at best, and disgusting and unworthy of love at worst. I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that the time and effort I have put into loving and nurturing myself, is far FAR more comforting and satisfying than the most delicious ANYTHING or a veg night on the couch. It IS possible! I'm not saying you're life will be perfect once you lose the weight. You will probably still have days like I did this morning, where you wake up so critical of yourself. But, in the long run, when you're someday face-to-face with the person you used to be, you will realize that you have, quite literally, become your own fantasy (give or take a saggy boob or two).

1 comment:

  1. For a girl that has WRECKED her sleep schedule and today at about half a pan of rice crispy treats (though trying SO hard to cut ALL sugar out of my diet) for lunch, I needed this. Thank you so SO much for sharing! God bless you, and this lovely lady you met, and really, all of us.