When I chose to have a public blog, I knew that I was taking a risk by putting myself out there. Every time I post something personal, like I posted about my weight gain yesterday, I know that I open myself up to ridicule by mean spirited people. It is the plight of any blogger. I expected it but it still stings when it happens. While I'm only human and I do sometimes dwell on the negative, I am also an eternal optimist who always finds the silver lining in any situation after given just a moment or two. This one is no different. Instead of choosing to focus on the negativity of the few, I choose to focus on the positivity of the many. And I've had way more "thank you"s and people inspired by my staying so real than I have nasty jabs and speculations so THAT is what I choose to focus on. In that spirit, as my reasons for weight gain have been drawn into question, I'd like to take this opportunity to share with others the reasons for my weight gain in hopes that this may help others.
Here is a list of contributors to my weight gain:
- First and foremost, 145 was too low for my body and what I want it to be! Period. I have no desire to see the scale go that low again. I didn't look good. I didn't FEEL good.
- Maintenance is hard!! It's a whole new ball game and I wasn't prepared. Especially when one naturally struggles with their weight. Seeing the scales go down became a game almost. Seeing the scales stand still,..not as fun of a game. This time I'll have a plan. Maintaining 200+ pounds is a cinch and that, until now, had been my only experience with trying to maintain a weight.
- I was and am still learning about what works for my body. I've used myself as my own Guinea pig and some things started out seeming to work splendidly, only to leave me a couple pounds heavier when I finally realized I was on the wrong path. Add to this that a woman's hormones generally change in her 30s so what my body needs is changing as well.
- Life! About 2 years ago my life got waaaaay more busy and, again, I didn't prepare. That won't happen again either.
- It's easy to not be so careful when everyone tells you that you look great. Ladies, this is a perfect example of why muscle is so important, you look better even with a couple extra pounds. When I finally had a precious but brutally honest man at the gym scan me up and down and say (in obviously a doubtful way) "are you still working out?" It helped wake me up to the fact that I had not, in fact, gained 29 pounds of muscle lol
- I love food. Shocker, I know. I love cheese and crunchy salty things combined. I loooove Mexican food. I love food. Oh and alcohol is pretty lovable. Cheat day turned into cheat week at times.
- And let's be honest, settling into a cozy relationship with a guy who is blind to a couple extra pounds can make the scale creep not so important. He also loves all things cheesy and is a bodybuilder who can eat me under the table any day of the week and still somehow maintain an impressively low body fat percentage. The good news is, he is just as supportive about me NOT going out for Mexican as he is when I suggest it!
So there's the reasons that contributed to my creep. Now let's take a moment to review what did NOT contribute to it.....
- Anything out of my control.
....End of list.
That's what makes me successful where others fail. I'm not anything special. I just believe in my own power and DO NOT believe that other people or things have power over me. I'm not a victim. It wasn't too hard to maintain. It was a slip because I wasn't dutiful about it. Now I am and, I have to be honest, losing weight is the fun exciting part. The excitement of stepping on the scales. The double takes and compliments of people who haven't seen me in a while. That man at the gym with no filter who saw me for the first time just yesterday and said "are you working out? You're looking good!"
Other than a medically diagnosed issue, we all have the power to change ourselves. And it's not a magic formula. It's merely a series of choices.
Create a good foundation for change. Arm yourself with knowledge, a good night's sleep and the support of others. Be prepared with good food choices and goals that mean something to you. Find many things that make you happy and fill you up. And don't ever, EVER give your power away by saying it's out of your control.
My gain has proven that I'm just as human and unspecial as the rest. That's why my current and continued loss should prove that YOU are just as capable as me at making this happen!!
P.S. I'm down another pound (to 166) as of this morning!!!
P.S. I'm down another pound (to 166) as of this morning!!!
Tammi, I don't know if you remember me but I met with you a couple of times a while ago. I was the teacher with 7 kids. I couldn't afford to keep coming but I want you to know that you changed my life. I'm still losing weight on my own. 22 pounds so far. You are so inspiring and were one of the sweetest of most beautiful women I've ever met. Now I stay inspired by following your blog and I'm glad you're posting more lately. I hope you won't stop just because of a couple mean and jealous people. I remember you telling me that when I light a fire inside myself and find my passion that I will light up and be the most beautiful version of myself. Those words have followed me and when I feel weak I imagine myself lighting that fire again. It gives me strength. I'm glad to see that you are keeping your fire lit as well. Please keep posting. The people who really matter are waiting to be inspired.
ReplyDeleteI cried when I read your post yesterday. I used to weigh 397 pounds. I lost down to 180 and felt better. I have slowly gained back up and I am now 390 pounds again. Yesterday I felt at my lowest. I found your blog and I sat for hours and read all of it.
ReplyDeleteI lost my husband 9 years ago and I always blame his death for my weight gane. My favorite post of yours is the one about what you have control over. It makes me realize that I am the one choosing to hurt myself when I eat too much. And bells went off when you said it doesn't fix the pain and only makes it worse.
Thank you for sharing your pain with the rest of us. Knowing that you struggle too makes it easier to know that I can do this again and keep it off forever this time.
God Bless,
Penny