He is NOT My Everything

I've been thinking a lot about what women do in relationships. When we are in a relationship, most often we leave all our friends and sometimes even our families behind and dedicate the larger part of our emotional energy to that one man. Its actually hardwired in our brains to do so for evolutionary reasons. But then when we lose him we quickly scramble to rekindle these relationships so that we don't feel so alone. We call all those single girlfriends who tried for so long to get us to spend time with them only to find that they are now in relationships and are staying in with their new man every night. So we desperately search for another man to fill that empty space the previous has left behind.

BUT when we take the time to build and nurture new (and old) friendships instead of finding the next available half-way (or not even so) decent guy to fill that void, we suddenly don't feel so alone. When our lives are already full of love from multiple sources, we can take our time and look for a guy that just enhances our life instead of completing it. And maybe if we're careful and maintain our friendships when we find said guy, if he leaves us, we won't feel so alone and vulnerable when it happens. I've only recently arrived at the realization of just how important friendships are and just how valuable it is to have people to turn to when I'm sad, lonely, bored, etc. I will never ever take my friendships for granted again because ALL the people in my life contribute to making it full and I never want the scary feeling of one person having the power to walk out of my life and take everything with him.


  1. I love this post! Thanks for posting it :)

  2. I agree with keeping your friendships and caring for yourself.

    This is not necessarily something I am telling you but what you made me thing of. "Energy goes where attention goes"-you mentioned this on a previous post. Attention and energy on ourselves will make us happy and our emotional being won't change with the changing of our environments (I love the book the power of now and a new earth that explain this point in such a great way). Also, When you make yourself happy and give yourselve the attention and energy you deserve, you will always have company and your significant other will love you even more, you will inspire and make them better too (hopefully). In any relationship where two people accept and love themselves and their other half just as they are, that relationship can't only but flourish. The only work in a relation is you, no matter what relationship you are on. Boyfriend, spouse, daughter, son, mom, dad, ect. No one belongs to us. All the love you have withing you are projecting on your relationships, so in a way they never take anything from you. They leave because they don't love themselves and can't project that love on you. "When someone treats you bad is because they feel bad". Then, "If someone treats you right is because they feel good". You have all the power and you always have you, you look wonderful and by what I am reading you seem to be on the right path-in my opinion-, I am 34 too and I have had very hard or lets say challenging moments in my life. I have been married 10, and I have learned a lot on it, it has been a journey but one very worth it. Some of the books I have read are The Secret and the new one: The Power by Byrne. I have also read The Power of NOW by Tolle, and it has a great chapter on relationships. Now I have to apply all of this to my weight situation!!!

    I need to loose 45-55 pounds!!!!

    Thanks for sharing and keep inspiring, I'll keep reading!!!!


    1. Hey Mari. I also read The Secret and The Power of Now. I agree, they are both great books! I will have to check out The Power. I've never heard of that but I'm guessing I'd like it judging by your other choices. Thank YOU for sharing as well!

  3. SO true.
    Women should always INVEST in their friendships.