Broken ToeAide

When life gives you broken toes....

....make...broken toeaide???....

I really do try to always be a "look on the bright side" kinda girl but I don't always succeed. And how do I keep being Polly-frickin-Anna when, when January keeps sucking harder and harder?

On January 3rd I helped my boyfriend of 2 years move up to his new apartment located over an hour away. It was a nasty cold day and, while I was excited for him to have this opportunity at a new, exciting life, I was sad for us because I knew it was the end of our relationship. We both knew but had been ignoring it for months. We were living in denial and holding on to every last second we had together.

But, on January 4th, we finally had no choice but to acknowledge it and I said goodbye to what I felt was my best, and almost, only friend at the time.

On January 6th I woke up with a horrible stomach virus. After puking my abs sore for a few hours, while taking care of my son, I then suffered severe nausea for a solid 8 days! But I did lose 3 pounds that hadn't been budging so, hello!, silver lining already!

On January 14th, I was starting to feel a little better for the first time in over a week and went out with friends that night. My ex and I got into a horrible argument (through text mostly-which my dad claims is the root of all evil nowadays) and it lasted into the wee hours of the morning, spilling over into the next day, January 15th, when I woke up to more arguing and a nasty cold.

On January 18th, which was the first day I woke up able to breath just a little, I was getting that new lease on life feeling. The one you get after a break up, a stomach virus and a cold when everything starts to look up. I had a little more of a spring in my step when I walked around my car that morning to warm it up only to notice my CDs laying beside my car along with some other stuff. I looked in my car to find that someone had gone through it in the middle of the night & left the inside trashed in the process. My mp3 player & pricy headphones were gone. Lesson learned, ALWAYS lock your car.

On January 22nd I realized my crazy attempt to be friends with my ex so soon after our emotional breakup was...well, crazy. That night I went full-on crazy ex-girlfriend mode. I completely lost it and told him to stop contacting me for a while. I went to sleep that night so sad and just feeling kind of empty but I woke up the next morning, the 23rd, feeling very different. I still missed him but I felt energized and happy to be single. My new lease on life had arrived and I was ready to embrace it! And that's exactly what I started doing....for the rest of the day....

Then the very next day, on January 24th, I woke up late. I was rushing around to get ready and I did something I have done at least 200 times in my life, I caught my pinky toe on the corner of the bathroom door as I was rushing out. But this time was different. First, I heard a loud crack and thought I had broken the door. I winced in anticipation of the pain I knew was coming...but nothing. I looked down and that's when I saw something that still makes me feel a little barfy when I recall it. I was wearing black stockings so I couldn't actually see my foot but I saw what appeared to be a small toe growing out the side of my foot. I looked on my other foot just to make sure that's not what my feet had always looked like and I'd somehow never noticed....definitely not. I calmly said, "I broke my toe. I broke my toe,' staring at my foot with curiousity like it wasn't even my own.

So, after learning the hard way what "setting a bone" means and forking out a small fortune from my very limited savings, I hobbled home on crutches feelings extremely sorry for myself. I spent a large portion of the afternoon crying uncontrollably, focused on just how much my life was sucking and wondering how much worse it could get. Then....the silver lining started happening. My family, first and foremost, was there for me in every way. Everything was taken care of, I basically just had to use the bathroom for myself and that was about it. And, in addition to that, my phone was blowing up! I had so many offers for help and so many more people just calling or texting (or both) to check on me or just to make sure I wasn't sad and needing someone to talk to. When just a few days before I had felt so alone from my breakup, here I was feeling so surrounded by people who loved and cared about me.

After struggling to get my son to bed, because he kept insisting that it was HIS toe that was hurting and needed sympathy LMAO!, I hobbled out in the living room feeling exhausted but like supermom to still have managed to take care of my son with one leg (metaphorically) tied behind my back. I sat down in the silence and my mind started to race. I was still dwelling so much on how this ailment was going to hurt my workout regimen when it hit me! THAT is exactly why this happened! I had become so completely focused on my workouts and trying to attain the perfect body that I had all but stopped focusing on other areas of development, like my spiritual development for instance. I recalled what I had heard just the day before when listening to "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" (which I HIGHLY recommend!). He said that often people become so fixated on one "self" they wish to develop that they forget to nurture their other "selves" and that we should make a list of all those "selves" so we remember to pay attention to them all. When I heard it at the time I thought, "hmm, interesting," then all but forgot about it after that, actually on my way to the gym at the time for my second workout that day. Well, I guess the universe decided to send me the message again in a more direct, mob-like fashion this time, in the form of a broken bone. Okay! Okay! I get it! Message received loud and clear!

So here's my list of selves I never wish to neglect again:
  • Mother, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, etc.
  • Friend
  • Student (of life, eternally, not just academically)
  • Spiritual
  • Athelete (developing my body, inside and out, to be the toughest, most beautiful vessel it can be for the rest of my life)
  • Citizen of the World (giving of myself to others)

So my top 10 list of reasons I'm glad I broke my toe:

1-I've realized just how many people love and care about me.
2-I've realized what people DON'T care and its helped me stop wasting emotional energy on them. I'm giving it to myself and/or the people who better deserve it.
3-Its helped me appreciate just what good of shape I'm in because it takes endurance to hop around on one leg for long periods of time or support your weight with your upper body for long periods of time.
4-I've upped my fruit and veggie intake for the antioxidants that my body needs to heal, so its improved my nutrition.
5-It's forced me to find alternative ways to workout so I'm developing different muscles in different ways.
6-I have never gotten to TRULY appreciate NOT having a broken toe but, in 4-6 weeks, I will get to appreciate it every day for the rest of my life!
7-I've relaxed and watched some great documentaries in the past 2 days which I've really enjoyed doing!
8-I'm getting over my fear (after already working out today & eating healthy) that an injury will turn me into a big fatty again
9-I'm working ahead on my homework assignments which is a HUGE stress reliever
10-I'm starting something I've wanted to for a very long time!!! This blog! Which contributes to some of my "selves" including my spiritual self because, as "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" along with a score of other books indicate, writing things out not only creates clarity, it makes a vision more concrete (writing also helps replace the need to be "heard" so you are less dependent on others for your own well-being). It nourishes my citizen of the world self because it gives me an opportunity to provide information in one location of everything I've done to improve my health so I can just give people links to my blogs when they ask me the "how did you," "how do I" type questions.

I've been saying since my break-up that the last chapter was great & I was excited for the new one to begin. And while I didn't expect or want it to begin with a broken anything, I'm excited to see what's next and how it will end.


  1. I just found your page, I will be reading about you, you inspire me, I am so frustrated about being overweight after having my second baby.

    1. Well, thank you Mari! Just remember that now, with a second baby, you have more reasons than ever to succeed at this which means you have more of a chance of success than ever before. Good luck & please keep me posted!