Bringing Your Body Into Balance

My 100+ pound weight loss is what grabs people's attention. However, my weight loss was merely a side effect of finally taking my health and happiness into my own hands and finding that perfect balance. Body, mind, spirit. It all matters.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Day 28 of 28 Day Challenge: Final Challenge

For our last challenge, I'm going to start by telling you a story. Grab your popcorn.

Once upon a time there was a girl who was completely obsessed with a boy. And a few months later....this girl was completely obsessed with another boy. And so on. Along the way she never focused on herself, except....when a boy broke her heart.

Okay, big surprise. That girl was me. I was boy crazy growing up. Although not the most interesting or exciting story, it was the story of my youth and, sadly, the story of my post-divorce adult life until I met the most amazing person I'd ever met. Myself.

It turns out I am the best company for myself and I never break my heart. I am always there, just waiting for attention. And when I get that attention (from myself) I feel more alive and focused and hopeful. Problem is, I never really consciously put this together for most of my life. However, on some level I always knew it. At a very young age when a boy would break up with me (which, let's face it, during our grade school years, is a pretty common occurrence, or it was for me anyway) I would somehow know that the key to getting over him was to really focus on myself. I would buckle down in my school work, try to lose weight (my eternal battle!) and clean my room. 

As an adult there's much bigger things to focus on but there's still the basic elements of self-care that always matter. I won't rehash the troubled relationship that I've mentioned possibly 100 times in this blog but I'll just pull two key points out of it. First, I learned how I did not, ever again, want to be treated. And, second, I finally became consciously aware of how focusing on myself during the most heart wrenching moments, instantly made me feel more energetic, more hopeful and positive and more in control of my own life. 

If you're new to my blog, here's a couple past posts that really sum up my growth and experience throughout those two years. I've put them all in chronological order because it's like I can read them that way and see my development and awareness unfolding:

Kicking the Habit: My Addiction to a Man (this seems to be the post where I really started to "get it")
I Don't Accept Myself the Way I Am
It's All the Shame
Out of the Ashes: A Budding Romance

So, yeah, it comes off as pretty pathetic to chase after love and acceptance but that's exactly what I spent a big chunk of my life doing. The crazy thing is, when I finally stopped looking for it everywhere else, I found it within myself. 

Once I learned this little "trick" of focusing on myself (on a more conscious level) I took it and ran. Every time I felt out of control in any area of my life (not just the guy department), I would refocus even harder on what was important to ME. What would make ME a stronger, healthier, more awesome person. I wrote a blog post about this called What I Have Control Over.

Although I still have my days where I struggle with self-acceptance, I can honestly say that, over time, I truly fell in love with myself. Despite my countless flaws and shortcomings, I am my son's loving and proud mother, I am my mother's daughter, I am the sister who loves my siblings and niece and nephew to no end, the person who sits and cries with clients, the person who sits and cries to stupid songs in the car, the person who sits and cries other random places with very little incentive to do so, I push as hard in the gym as "the boys" and my mind is constantly reeling with new ways to help others AND myself. And about a million other things all ranging somewhere between "amazing" and "horrid" that make me so imperfectly perfect. I am complex and awesome and so uniquely me and I will not be humble and not acknowledge how worthy I am of my own love and attention. AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU!!! You are worth your time and focus!  Stop being humble, stop being selfless. It is doing no one any good and certainly not you. It is time to focus on YOU!

And here's the super duper cool part! The more you redirect focus back onto yourself, not only do you have more love and energy to give to others, but you suddenly begin to love yourself as well!  Anything we invest time, energy and attention in is sending the message to our subconscious mind "this is something important!"

So here is your challenge for today....and beyond. Focus on you and observe how your energy and emotions shift when you do so. Every chance you get. Use the past challenges as your guide:

All or Nothing
Get Your Brain in the Game
Get Uncomfortable
Move It Anyday
Love You Where You Stand
Make a Swap
Bite It, Write It (this one always makes me feel VERY in control!)
Make a Swap

These are just guides to get you started but your challenge is to pay more attention to what is going to make your life better. Doing this will not only (gasp!) make your life better over time. It will also instantly redirect your energy toward you instead of toward whatever energy sucking black hole of a problem you might be focusing on at the moment.

Okay, ladies who are still hung up on the guy. I have one more little nugget of wisdom because I know how hard it can be to stay focused on yourself when you're in this situation (and I get a large number of messages from females who talk about how much they can relate to the pain I've expressed in previous posts). As you focus more and more on yourself and grow as a person, you become a magnet of sorts to men. They are inexplicably drawn to you. This isn't just physical appearance I'm talking about. I noticed this during my little spurts of self-focus when I still had a large amount of weight to lose. Men love nothing more than a woman who loves herself and is too busy to focus on him. So if your focus needs to be "he will regret the day he ever let me go" then, girlfriend, use that shit! Use whatever motivates you. My mother has always told me, "there's no such thing as bad motivation." Funny thing is, once you arrive to a place of self-love and acceptance, not only will you not want him anymore, you won't care if he wants you either!!

Whatever is stealing your energy in life right now, TAKE IT BACK! And give all that energy to yourself instead!

So that's the end of our 28 Day Challenge but this is just the beginning of your new, slightly better, slighter different self. In 28 MORE days from now, you will be 28 days older no matter what you do or don't do. What will you do?


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